My 2021 Weight Loss Reset

Audio Reading of this Post

I am obese with 90 pounds to lose.

I have repeated the same pattern the last 4 years of my life. It happens in 3 acts.

Act 1

January I get pissed at myself that I have gained weight through the holidays. I learn to forgive myself and I recommit myself.

Act 2

Feburary thought August

2 steps forward 1 step back. But weight comes off slowly. I do well for a week or two and then when I see success I “treat” myself to ice cream or some shit by telling myself I earned it. I earned it when I still look like this?

Act 3

Septmeber through December

I say fuck it. I accept bad self talk and give up. I tried hard and I am the same I have been for years, I tell myself. Enjoy the holidays and we can look at getting this going again.

I lose 20 pounds.

I gain 20 pounds.

2020 – 2021

This year I did a little something different. With COVID and my Gold Gym being closed, I took to Youtube looking for workouts I could do at home and I found JT Texieria of Body Weight Strength

I also joined his community on discord via patreon.

I also decided to experiment with carnivore diet.

  • Beef
  • Seafood – Oysters, Shrimp, Sardines etc
  • Eggs
  • Bacon (limited)
  • Coffee (black) + Tea (hot and iced)
  • Avocado – with my sardines

I was successful.

So what happened?

I slowly started to go back to old eating habits. The difference this time was I never said “fuck it” I would reset.

On an asside resetting and starting again can be seen as a postive – the “Never Give up!” Good for you!. But reseting and then feeling that you know in 3 days there is an event you have to go to and that you might break etc. It wears you down.

Lesson #1 is that you must be honest with yourself. That is why I take pictures like these with my shirt off. I need to face myself. I assure you in my minds eye – I do not look that fat. In fact in todays FAT America – I look around and I am pretty normal.

Long and Short

Jan 1, 2021 my weight was 256 pounds.

Jul 1, 2021 my weight was 258 pounds.

I broke the cycle.

So now what?

To be honest, I had a small melt down yesterday. I had pitty party for myself “I will never be appropriate weight and strong. Just say fuck it.”

But the next day, I faced facts, and set my resolve. Again.

Lesson #2 No one is coming to save me. It is me vs myself each day. Each Hour. Each Minute.

Opportunity is here.

I am going to get this journey done and if you care to follow along – I am going to document my progress here.

My moto is showing not telling.

If you have questions, email me and ask. But recommendations? I do not have much to offer. Follow along and see what I do and if it might work for you.

It is my hope that my journey might inspire someone to start theirs.

Thank you for reading. Terry

Being Fat is like having a lot of Credit Card Debt

Being Fat is not fun.

Why are so many people, including me, fat?

Fat is baggage from a previous life.

It is like interest on a credit card. You cannot even remember what all you spent that money on to drive the balance so high.

Do you remember every cookie? More than likely the answer is no, but yet we are still paying the price.

I hope you make your health a priority in 2021. Time is not on our side for this one.

If you need some help or resources let me know and I will do what I can.

To Your Health!

Breaking the Cycle

I have repeated the same pattern the last 2 years of my life.

It happens in 3 Acts.

Act 1: January 1.

Get pissed at myself that I gained weight throug the holidays. Learn to forgive myself but take action and recommit to my weight loss journey.

Act 2: February through August.

2 steps forward 1 step back but weight comes off slow. I get frustrated that I am not losing more weight. The weekly cycle is 5 days on plan and the weekend I fall off the wagon. Not an total bender but nonetheless I eat more or eat off plan.

Act 3: September through December

I say fuck it. I am never going to get this done. I tried so hard and I at the same low weight I have been at for years.

Act 2 – I lose 20 pounds

Act 3 – I gain 20 pounds

This year will be different.

September 2020 I have a goal and only one goal.

To not gain weight.

Today, September 1, 2020 – I weigh 261.
My goal is to weigh 261 on September 30, 2020.

Your friend.

My journey is broader than just being thin. I want to be strong. I want to be capable. More on that goal as I continue to document my journey.

No Dairy – Restart

I failed in my 30 day no dairy challenge.

I did learn something.

I restricted it in August but it was not eliminated.

Greek Yogurt. Sometimes with fruit. Sometime with a squeeze of honey.

On my wife birthday I did have a scoop or 2 of real ice cream. It was like a sugar rocket. I would generally eat the left over ice cream over the next several days and this time I did not go back to it. Maybe one can learn.

This is what I know.

  • Dairy Upsets my stomach
  • Dairy causes inflammation
  • Dairy causes cravings

In short, I love dairy but she does not love me back. It is time I leave her behind for a new love.

30 Day Challenge – No Fruit. No Dairy.

Fruit and Dairy.

Both cause me digestive and inflammation issues.

Fructose is not good for me. It is a driver of obesity and insulin resistance.

See Dr. Jason Fung explanation.

See The Bitter Truth – by Dr Robert Lustig – Longer video but eye opening.

This could be strawberry ice cream.

Blueberries and Greek Yogurt.

Dried Cranberries as a snack.

The list goes on. I am a fan of fruit. I was a fan of craft beer too but I said goodbye in 2018. Sometimes in life your love is not returned.

I commit to myself to not have fruit or dairy for the next 30 days. July 16, 2020 through August 15th, 2020.

You can ask @vickiegrier for confirmation of my updates if you need validation.

The Devil Inside

Hi Friend.

I am back to writing.

The last 15 days of July I have wandered in the desert of the internet.

I was excited about sharing my food plan for July but I could not make a decision on a couple of things and guess what? I have not taken action. Shame on me. But I forgive myself and I am back from those dark days.

I am convinced that the inner voice that speaks to us is not our friend.

Steven Pressfield famously calls it the resistance.

In this blog post he sums the struggle for our lives in the best explanation I have seen about the Ego vs the Self. How the resistance is trying to kill us anyway it can. Worth a read.

Dr. Glenn Livingston calls it The Pig.

He has this post providing examples of how the pig lies to you to eat shit that you know is not good for you. Bottom line the Pig is trying to kill you slowly with food.

Understanding and accepting that you have a powerful voice inside your head that does not want you to change. So changes in your diet will sound the alarm and bring this voice to full power. It will lie. It will distract. It will give half truths.

The good news is that you are in control. Your rational brain is in control. Stay in the now. Be Present.

Follow the links for both Pressfield and Livingston to learn more.

I will be writing more about this and what I settled on with my eating plan.

Change In My Tone

Most of my posts of late have been me complaining about not making progress. They might not seem that bad to you as the reader but I assure you I was wallowing. I did not cross the line to feeling sorry for myself but I was angry.
Tomorrow I will post my plan for July.

Diet + Workout

I am putting my scale in the closet.

Day 21 – Still 265

11:18 am I am back. I missed my accountability journal. Not much has happened really. I was mindful of not putting too much crap in my mouth. I was active. But I was not following a “plan.” I was not following my plan.

The Result? Stagnation. Better than losing ground.

My mindset is ok. I am ready to get back on track and my daily blogging was a big part of that.

9:17pm I ate around 1pm – Shrimp and bacon – it was left over from the weekend.  I am trying to eat as few carbs as possible.

I am not feeling inspired today. I am tired.

I did get my Body Weight Strength home gym setup. And I did a small workout today.  I must get over how limited I am due to being so fat.  I need to remember that doing something is better than doing nothing.

Wishing you peace.